Telling people my truth isn’t working.

Insulted Ben. Told Mark he needs to be more present to Ben when he’s here. Mark stiffens up even more when he hears that he is not being a great father. Even though I didn’t say that I really hare when he comes home o tired and hungry that all he says to Ben is hi and By and I love you. Oh well he has been like that for 28 years. Not going to change that. I just can not say something when it makes me furious. Then Today I tell Gaby I liked what he was playing on his guitar. I told him it relaxed me. He said does the other tune make me nervous. I said yeah kind of cause I’ve heard it to much. It emediatly hurt his feelings. He said he has to play it lot cause he is just learning to play it. Then he says ( for the 5th time) that he really wants to move out. I tell him I’m ready for him too. I hide the sting in my heart from his words. He tells me he is having so much fun outside of this house. And then stops himself from saying he hates to even come home.😪 Am I loosing my filter? Should I just become mute?